GOP: Grand Ol' Predators by Libertad!

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posted by Libertad! Original SA post

Hey guys, I promise I'll finish Dragonlance Setting soon, but after seeing how some of my previously-written reviews were enjoyed I decided to port another one over here.

Click the image to be taken to the Drive-Thru RPG page.


*Clockwise from top left: the Mitt, the Ron'Pol Courtier Devil, the Santorum, and the Gingrich Newt. This image was taken from Drive-Thru RPG's product information page, so I assume that it's okay to post here. If something comes up I'll take it down.

For those who didn't keep up with the 2012 US Presidential elections, it was a crazy time. The election of Obama resulted in a new rash of political extremism among the Republican Party. Over 8 candidates joined the fray, adopting various GOP talking points. However, most of their policies were similar to each other's with some exception. Long story short, the candidates competed to see who could be more right-wing than the other.

The author of this book set out to create monstrous caricatures of 4 of these figureheads. Gamers sometimes feel angry at real-world problems, so the GOP Bestiary would serve as an outlet for player frustration.

Naturally, Paizo Publishing smelled a controversy a mile away and told Misfit Studios to drop the Pathfinder logo from their product cover.

I'll come out by saying that this book is rather user-friendly. Certain words have hyperlinks built into them to take you to the relevant Pathfinder SRD page. For example, clicking on 'Will' in the saving throw stat block takes you here. It is overdone in places, such as linking the frightened condition in the word of the same name in the flavor text. Too few Pathfinder products do this, and others could learn a thing or two from the Misfits.

Although the stat blocks and game descriptions are Open Content, if I posted them all here all I'd be leaving out is the artwork and brief flavor text. I don't want to discourage interested people from checking out the product, so I'll paraphrase relevant information instead. It's normally 2 bucks on Drive-Thru, so it won't eat into your pocketbook.

Without further ado, onto the monsters!

Ron'Pol Courtier Devil


In the real world, Ron Paul is a Libertarian Republican Congressman from Texas with strong anarcho-capitalist leanings. Basically, he believes that private property and the free market are necessary for societal prosperity, and that the government is a corrupt force which will make things worse almost all the time even with the best of intentions. Deregulation of businesses, cuts on taxes and government spending applied to everything across the board, and a non-interventionist foreign policy are some of his more prominent viewpoints. He also got in trouble for a racist newsletter back in 2006 written under his name for 20 years.

The Ron'Pol Devil is a CR 4 trickster-based monster. They are experts in convincing others the rightness or their position on any subject, regardless of its morality or practicality. Their role in the Infernal hierarchy is to get as many mortals as possible to sign over their souls in binding contracts to get what they want.

Ron'Pols are relatively fragile physically, but they have a good damage reduction and spell resistance, great social and knowledge skills, and a versatile set of spell-like abilities. Given the high save DC and flight, I'm inclined to view his Challenge Rating as a little low. Given that resurrection magic is hard to come by at low levels, and this has the possibility of granting the party a super-powerful magic item, I'd be cautious about deploying this monster in a campaign. It also has incredibly high treasure values for its CR.

Thoughts so far: I was expecting the Misfits to draw upon a more personalized accounts to construct a monster. I don't really picture Paul as a sharkey lawyer type; his unbending Libertarian ethos and "Mr. No" reputation in Congress strike him as too committed to his ideals. To me he's more like a pseudo-revolutionary whose policies will ultimately benefit the upper class at the expense of the poor. I would've made him into a false rebel type of Devil secretly fighting for the benefit of moneyed interests.

Next time: the Mitt, a greedy race of merchants who seek wealth at all costs.

The Mitt


In the real world, Mitt Romney was the Republican Party's nominee for the 2012 elections. Dubbed "The Luckiest Motherfudger on Earth" by Jon Stewart, his opponents' frequent public gaffes and unpalatable far-right policies turned many voters towards him as the sanest and most moderate candidate.

In Pathfinder, Mitt are a humanoid race of beings who seek to acquire wealth at all costs. Once they gain enough capital, they seek to dominate economic policies and trade. They're more than willing to bleed entire cities dry of resources, sending many into abject poverty. Their facial features shift subtly and constantly, increasing in frequency when they become agitated and nervous.

The sample stat block for a 1st-level Aristocrat is grossly over-equipped: about 4,000 gp worth of treasure for a CR 1/3rd creature.

As a race, Mitt have no racial hit die. They're an awesome choice for spellcasters, with +2 Intelligence and Wisdom, +4 Charisma, and -2 Strength and Constitution (a net +4 bonus).

They have a +4 racial bonus on Bluff and Diplomacy checks. Other racial traits include the stuff repeated in the stat block.

Thoughts so far: Mitt's overall shtick and Social Chameleon ability is to close to Ron'Pol (silver-tongued trickster whose words can get others to accept their point of view). It's slightly overpowered as a PC race. On the bright side, I find this monstrous caricature closer to the real Mitt Romney than I did with the Ron Paul counterpart.

Next time: the Gingrich Newt, a pestilent monster which fouls everything it touches.


Newt, Gingrich


Newt Gingrich served as the Minority Whip in the Congressional House of Representatives 1989-1995. He played a major role in the Republican Revolution of 1994, which ended the 40-year long Democratic majority in the House with the election by gaining 54 new seats for newly elected Republican officials. Several House Republicans in 1997 attempted to oust him from his role of Speaker in a failed political coup. He resigned in 1998 when his own party became willing to openly defy him.

Newt's 2012 campaign was marked with blunder after blunder, from weeks-long vacations in Europe, a campaign over $1 million in debt from buying expensive jewelry for his wife, and plans to establish a moon base in 2020.

Gingrich Newts were created by foul sorcery, and now they're spread across the land. They constantly exude an invisible cloud of toxins which contaminate nearby ecosystems and foul up waters. Once it chooses a lair, it cows and bullies weaker creatures (preferably reptilians) to do its bidding and act as intermediaries for evil plots. The population of Gingrich Newts are limited in that the female of the species are susceptible to the males' toxic presence, and become sicker over time until the male moves on to find younger, healthier mates.

The monster is a CR 3 small magical beast. They otherwise unremarkable features except for their special attacks.

This monster is quite an effective long-range monster. It has a nice AoE which can screw up spellcasters, and long-range archers or opponents who might catch it by surprise can get charmed before they attack it. It won't last long in a straight-up melee, though, and the several-round-long tongue poison gears it towards more "war of attrition" tactics.

By itself this monster could either get flattened by low-level parties or quickly drop them (at least the non-fighter types). I'd recommend giving it minions for more optimized/higher level parties.

Thoughts: For a man who made his cancer-stricken wife sign the divorce papers in a hospital bed to pursue a younger woman, a noisome swamp-lurker is an apt characterization.

Next time: The Santorum, a regressive undead zealot who seeks to further what it believes is its God's will, whether or not said God actually approves.


Santorum


Rick Santorum is a former Pennsylvania Senator infamous for his socially conservative positions. After comparing homosexual intercourse to bestiality in a 2003 interview, gay rights activist Dan Savage convinced followers to google bomb his name and turn it into a sexual neologism.

During the 2012 campaign, Santorum easily bypassed most of the candidates in outrageous statements (no small feat), including but not limited to: blaming feminism for bringing more women into college and the workforce, claiming that easy access to condoms and birth control would encourage no-holds barred sexual promiscuity, and nearly called President Obama the n-word.

The Pathfinder Santorum is a form of undead created when a woman-hating, anti-science religious fanatic dies. Usually worshiping a good-aligned deity in life, the Santorum is guided by a misguided and misinterpreted view of their divine values. Caught in a limbo between planes, the soul's anger grows until it is brought back into the Material Plane when a devout follower of their god calls for divine aid (usually summoning spell). And then the Santorum seeks to pursue its sacred mission, driven by destructive rage.

The most physically imposing monster in the Bestiary. It has poor saves and low mental scores, but its natural reach and multiple natural attacks are pretty good. Depending upon your DM's definition of a technological item, the Santorum can potentially ruin a lot of equipment (although I assume the author's erring towards gadgeteer and clockwork-style items).

Unlike all the other monsters, the Santorum has no treasure value.

Thoughts: Yup, fits good ol' Rick to a T (or an S, in this case).

Concluding Thoughts: It's quite short, and I expected more monster versions of GOP candidates (there were 9 major candidates and 3 who where in very briefly). The humor was hit or miss, the monsters were primarily suited to low-level games and have pretty high treasure values, but overall it was well worth the price.