This RPG is pretty gross.

Daughters of Kirin

posted by Bitchtits McGee Original SA post

Aw man, I was all psyched to cover Black Tokyo, but then I find out PurpleXVI already did it while I wasn't looking.

Oh, well. At least he left me the other three books.

I don't know which one actually came first, but this one is the shortest, so I'm starting with it. For the record, that does appear to be cogent Japanese on the cover, but it also looks like half of whatever it is is missing, and the rest is all blurred together so I can't be bothered to figure out what it says.

intro text go posted:

This sourcebook serves as a continuation and expansion of the Black Tokyo world, delving even deeper into this horrific imitation of real world Japan. Inside, you’ll find new monsters, new feats, new demon-tainted advanced classes and a selection of monstrous new player races. We’ll venture across the dimensional border, and cross into the Tatakama. We’ll catch a glimpse of oni at play in the fields of the Black Else. And eventually, we’ll return to Tokyo, to confront human horrors and demonic lusts.

Also, terminology explained now so I don't have to pussyfoot around it later: in the Black Tokyo setting, there's the human world, the demon world a.k.a. the Black Else, and where the two overlap is an always-changing fairyland called the Tatakama. The core book explicitly likens this setup to a Venn diagram. Planescape, eat your heart out.

The Tales come later, right now we're facing down a new PC race option: the Daughters of Kirin . The Kirin of mythology is a Chinese chimera, with the body of a tiger, tail of an ox, legs of a giraffe, and antlers of a deer; the Kirin of dumbshit weeaboo hacks clearly inspired by Monster Hunter fan-art they saw on danbooru is basically a hovering Pan-Asian unicorn who works for the gods somehow. The Kirin is always on the move, but occasionally he stops long enough to bang a lady horse, which always results in the birth of a humanoid Daughter, always "an omen of cosmic significance", we are told. Raising these little bundles from Equestria has been the secret task of Japanese horse breeders for four thousand years; luckily, the average Daughter "can run within minutes of her birth, and is as clever as a two year old by the end of her first night on Earth", and most of the actual education is done by visiting angels, so it's probably not that onerous a duty.

Daughters of Kirin are agents of Heaven, called to heroism by instinct, and consider it their duty to protect the Futakuchi... whatever they are. (Maybe I should have started with the Races book after all. Meh.) Primary physical characteristics: six feet tall, muscular, attractive, horse legs with golden hooves, a long horn growing out of their forehead, and naturally occurring ivory-and-gold armor growing right out of their skin. The text specifies it covering "a beautiful pair of taut breasts and a virginal pussy", notes that it can be relaxed to allow for consensual humping but never fully retracted, then decides to let it protect the hips, shoulders, forearms and spinal cord as well, basically making a swankier, anthro-furry Witchblade. Do I even need to point out that they rarely wear clothes over this?

this tidbit comes pretty much out of nowhere in the book, too posted:

The Kirin are an exclusively female species- they can only bear daughters with their divine father, and most of the Daughters long for a visit from the legendary unicorn, though few begrudge him his wanderlust.

What, you thought an armored snatch was as bad as this was going to get? Nope, every last one of them's drippin' for Daddy! FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!

This took longer to type out than I expected and I should have been in bed a couple of hours ago, so I'll let you off with just this for now. Tomorrow: catgirl population control, first-hand ancestral memory management, and jets on legs! I can't wait!

Talents & Classes

posted by Bitchtits McGee Original SA post

Part 2: Talents and Class

Hot on the heels (or whatever they call them) of the Armored Electra Complex Cavalry, is another one of those ideas that is - I believe, but could be wrong - original to Black Tokyo , and yet not Godawful : Starting Talents.

easier than summarizing posted:

The starting occupations found in D20 Modern work well for most modern action campaigns. The following talents ground these generic starting occupations more
fully in Black Tokyo’s pseudo-Japanese reality. During character creation, players select a single Starting Talent. Most Starting Talents are only found among members of one or two starting occupations, and some have additional prerequistes that must be met before they can be selected.

Starting Talents provide characters with a minor advantage, which is usually a bit too situational or weak for a full feat. These minor abilities are intended mostly as campaign flavor, but clever players can probably come up with more impressive uses for these talents.

Lightly supplementing a core mechanic to better fit the setting? I think I like that a lot, in fact. No doubt this sliver of good will is about to evaporate like an ice cube on an August sidewalk, but hey, it was there. Skipping over the 'boring' ones to save time:

For his next trick, Fields looked up the word " strike " in a thesaurus and came up with a new player class: the Assault Witch , pantsless high school girls with airplanes on their legs who shoot magic. The character art is, bizarrely, more worksafe than most images from the show he's ripping off, so here's a visual aid:

Blah blah Princess Aiko initiative something paper-thin justification: "Under the Crown Princess’ direction, neophyte Assault Witches are to get as much battle experience as possible, hopefully becoming a centerpiece of a new generation Japanese military, one that publicly embraces magic, and elevates women to positions of power." Yeah, this is definitely a good place to start on that . Apparently, there are American counterparts using cyber-tech, but it's all magic all the time in Nipponland. Plus they make good JSDF recruiting mascots, because what military couldn't use a few good mouth-breathing ephebophilic neckbeards.

The skills and class features are remarkably creep-free, probably because they dumped it all into this one:

I don't think this actually happens in the show posted:

Mach One Climax (SU) : Like the witches of old performed sex magic with their besoms, the Assault Witch can use the pure energy of her orgasm to unlock her body’s full potential. Starting at 3rd level, if she masturbates to orgasm immediately before take off, the Assault Witch gains the ability to travel at supersonic speeds outside of combat and gains the stamina to take advantage of her range.


Next time: we get to the actual tales! I can't wait!

The World of Black Tokyo

posted by Bitchtits McGee Original SA post

Part 3: The World of Black Tokyo

Yaaaay, game lore! I love this stuff!

The Amakaze

Your basic Illuminati stand-in: the immortal founders of Japan's zaibatsu , controlling everything from the unearthly pleasures of their vast palatial estates in the Tatakama, only ever setting foot back in the mortal world anymore for the odd board meeting or G8 Summit. Except, of course, immortality has a price, and that price gets steeper every year, so by this point they're really just another layer of stooges between Earth and the Black Else, directing mortal affairs to further the ends of their demonic paymasters. Then it goes on for half-a-dozen paragraphs about how the PCs could find out they've been unwittingly working for the Amakaze all along. You could probably write the whole entry yourself. Pretty standard stuff.

The Ubume Empress

According to a sidebar, the so-called Ubume Empress works for the Amakaze, somehow manipulating the other Ubume into servitude so that they can "spread delicious misery across the human realm"... again, somehow. While her actual purpose and motivation is vague to the point of vapor, the rest of her entry is bizarrely detailed. She answers to the name "Ellen", and her accent seems to be American, but she isn't native to the world of Black Tokyo, having somehow crossed through the Black Else and the Tatakama after her death. She wears tailored business attire, to which the ghosts of hundreds of fetuses cling invisibly, and enchanted veils cover up the fact that she's missing the top of her skull. Why go to the trouble of including all this? Is it based on someone he knows? A friend's self-insert? Petty revenge against an ex-girlfriend who slept around on him?

oh, and then there's this thing posted:

The Ubume Empress is also adept at manipulating Japan’s minority Christian population to commit horrid atrocities in the name of faith, only realizing too late their actions serve the Black Else.


Amusement Store Tulip - Sapporo, Japan

Nominally, an adult novelty shop. But in the back room, owner Noriko Tennin, self-emancipated Living Toy (new to me, too, but the name seems fairly self-evident) and Innocent (D7ACU: The Innocent, Skortched Urf Studios, 2007, but I ain't buyin' that one), crafts magical artifacts to order. Reasonable prices and good quality, but accordingly, a months-long backlog on orders. She'll even custom-build you a Living Toy bedmate, but only after she's "encountered" you herself and is sure you won't mistreat them.

yyyyyyyyyyyyyep posted:

A rude and impudent website, a place where calling another anonymous poster a nigger-fag is the height of comedy, and the one place on the Net where it’s totally possible to innocently stumble across home-made kiddy porn while browsing for anime wallpapers or song torrents.

Right down to a recent spate of 'hacktivism' against the corporations of the Amakaze. Anonymity keeps the fight alive for the most part, but twin webmasters Ryu and Haneda Shirow have their own list of supernatural contacts to call on if the forces of evil get too close for comfort, cough cough plot hook.

Aokigahara Forest

If you're gonna make a game about Japanese ghosts, you've gotta set a space aside for the Sea of Trees. An old growth forest around the base of Mount Fuji, Aokigahara is purportedly the most haunted place in Japan, a reputation due entirely to the indisputably documented fact that it's also the most popular spot in Japan for committing suicide, seeing upwards of 100 every year. Popular opinion puts the root of this in Seichou Matsumoto's 1960 novel Kuroi Jakai , about a young lover who hangs himself from a tree in the forest, but as is the way of these things, stranger theories abound.

In Black Tokyo , the roots of the Universal Tree cross under the soil, making the entire forest a weak spot in the barrier between the True Earth Realm and the Tatakama. Portals constantly open and close at random, Kasha guide the souls of the dead so they cannot return as undead, Futakuchi descend upon sacred groves. And just in case you thought he'd get too solemn or respectful of the site to include some creepy detail, a cave in the heart of the forest contains a sacred steel dildo which Kijimunna use to masturbate themselves to death.

Clovers Academy - Outside Tokyo

An exclusive private school owned and operated by Heaven itself, training the next generation of demon slayers from Grades 7-12. The students are mentioned to be pen pals with the seemingly all-girl Hanging Academy, whatever that is.

Club Ameonna - Tokyo Harbor

A nyotaimori club "popular with younger Yakuza and wealthy idiots who get their thrills being seen with Yakuza". Also the location of a permanent portal directly to the Black Else, so make sure you really understand the directions to the restroom when you ask.

Fairy Tale Student's Club - Rappongi, Tokyo

Again, not my typo. A two-bedroom apartment turned party club and crash-pad for young shapeshifters and magic-users, with a loose-knit but internally-loyal membership.

Monsters University - Okinawa

The "run-down inner city" equivalent to the Clovers Academy, MU is a sort of magically-aware juvie hall, where optimistic exorcists send young abominations to learn how to rise above their baser instincts or die trying.


Since most of Monster’s University students enjoy watching women die, students of both genders often begin strange, melancholy romances with the girls of the Hanging Academy.

This seems like it might be a good place for Doom, but since I still don't know what the deal is with this Hanging Academy, all that really frustrates me is that these things don't have numbers on the front or something.

A popular watersports webcam site, with a magically encrypted Member's Only section selling the stained panties of down-on-their-luck goddesses, as well as an always-busy chat room for Flow Witches and waste-mages.

Sagari Downs - Nagasaki

Lavish and apparently fictional 1/4-mile horse racing track, where many of the jockeys are actually Koropokkuru, which makes a sort of carrot-over-stick sense. Open to the public during the regular racing season, closed off and glamoured during the winter months for "high-stakes and eroticized races" between "Japan’s mystic pony-players, animalistic cosplay-mages and the virginal, powerfully built Daughters of Kirin" for the exclusive amusement of richer clientele.

Seamless Sleep Club - Rappongi, Tokyo

Still not my typo. Run by three of the Tannin sisters ('related' to the owner of Amusement Store Tulip and likewise self-emancipated Living Toys), the SSC is a popular maid cafe and "cuddle club", where lonely otaku and salarymen can pay extra to sleep with the staff in the literal sense of just sharing a bed - no intimate contact, both parties' pajamas stay on at all times. Recently gained national notoriety when the Imperial Princess hosted a party there, but not mentioned in the tabloids were the personal bodyguards the owners built for her as a gift.

The Shikome

The extremist side of the Eyrines Sisterhood, the Shikome not only hunt down and kill sexual predators, but go the extra mile to euthanize their victims as well , with the reasoning that while being raped itself is no sin, the lifetime of pain and guilt that often follows only serves to stain their karma, so they're better off re-entering the cycle of rebirth as soon as possible. Yeesh. Not very many of them around, what with both the aforementioned predators and the Eyrines both actively hunting them down.

Vending Machine Girls

Mage-bred sex slaves sold in mystical gashapon machines, "transitory playthings [which] are almost as disposable as a can of soda". FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!

Next time: zombie hobo hordes, auto-groping kimonos, and literal crotch rockets! I can't wait!

Monsters and Other Fieldsish Things

posted by Bitchtits McGee Original SA post

Part 4: Monsters and Other Fieldsish Things

New Monsters!

Aswang (CR 6)

Descriptions vary widely , but none of them seem to resemble this picture at all.

Amakaze (CR 10)

Binbogami (CR 2)

Daruma (CR 5)

Kanedama (CR 5)

Kijohime (CR 7)

Koma-Inu (CR 8)

Kosode-No-Te (CR 1/2)

Okiku (CR 3)

There's one more, but... not yet. Best for last, don'tchaknow.

New Spells!

That's the end of Tales , for now. Next time: the last book, Chastity & Depravity ! I can't wait!

Long Way Down (One Last Thing)

posted by Bitchtits McGee Original SA post

Part 5: Long Way Down (One Last Thing)

For all the awfulness in this write-up, there have been some things I've had to filter out. Little details, mostly, easily spotted errors in both grammar and continuity, or the use of certain pronouns on certain feats and abilities that suggest they were written with one hand. This one time, though, I feel it's important to present things exactly as they appear. Gentle readers, behold: the final boss of Black Tokyo .

Chris A. Fields posted:

Shingami (CR 25)
Beyond Colossal Giant
Init -4; Senses Darkvision 60 ft
Aura Radioactive Hell (heavily irritated area 150 ft)
Languages Mindlessly repeats circa WWII anti-Japanese catch phrases

Defense 27, touch 2, flat-footed 27(-8 size, +25 natural)
hp 30d8+300 (435 hp); DR Damage Resistance 10/good
Fast Healing 3 Spell Resistance 22
Immune Acid, Fire, Radiation, Suffocation, Drowning, Vacuum, Massive Damage, Ability Score damage/drain, Energy Drain, Negative Levels
Resist Electricity 20,

Speed 100 ft (cannot run or shift)
Melee +49 melee slam (4d6+26 bludgeoning plus 4d6 fire, 18-20/x2)
Melee Space 500 ft x 500 ft.; Reach 150 ft
Base Atk +23; Grapple +65
Atk Options Squirming Cock Rush +49 melee (hits up to 3 enemies within 30 ft of each other), (4d6+26 bludgeoning and 1d6 fire) or
Slam +49 melee (4d6+26 bludgeoning plus 4d6 fire, 18-20/x2) or
Fling +23 melee (thrown 500 ft straight up or any direction, falling damage 20d6 REF DC 60 halves)
Horrific Orgasm (20d10 acid, 500 ft cone, REF DC 28 half, once every 3d6 rounds)
Abilities STR 52 DEX 3 CON 31 INT 3 WIS 15 CHA 9
+26 -4 +10 -4 +2 -1
SQ Eventual Return
Feats Power Attack, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Sunder

The Shingami is the ‘western god of death’, a colossal psychic monster created from the hate and bigotry of an entire nation. Born during World War II, the Shingami is the living embodiment of American sin- the loathsome spirit that put Japanese-Americans into camps, and the same rage that burnt the world at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Like the Genbu, the colossal Shingami has slept through the decades, somewhere deep beneath the Sea of Othosk. Coral has grown over the monster’s resting place, and every day cargo ships drift lazily by above. For most, the Shingami is long forgotten. Only a handful of Japanese arcanists serving with Police Section Seven believe the monster still lives and even fewer have a plan to destroy the great beast if it should ever reawaken.

The Shingami stands taller than most of Tokyo’s sky scrapers, and it’s sheer mass shakes the ground with every step it takes. The monster resembles a gigantic ebony ape with dozens of jagged horns nearly half a kilometer long protruding from its spine and the crown of its head. The Shingami’s sickly yellow and black face is like something out of a WWII propaganda poster- a slant eyed, bucktoothed, leering parody of a Japanese man’s. Dozens of penis tendrils, each the size of subway trains whip, from beneath the creature’s bulging gut. The Shingami’s eyes glow a bloody crimson, and its light is strong enough to blot out the sun. From head to hooves, the monster is wreathed in atomic flames.

Radioactive Hell (SU) : The Shingami laughed at the atomic end of World War II, relishing the destruction. It is a creature of elemental atomic fire. A 150 ft radius around the behemoth is considered heavily irradiated and remains so for 1d6 minutes after the Shingami passes.

Squirming Cock Rush (EX) : The Shingami’s enormous prehensile cocks strike up to three enemies which must be within 30 ft of one another with every attack. Make one attack roll for all adversaries, and this is considered a single attack. All enemies struck by the behemoth’s cock suffer the same amount of damage.

Fling (EX) : If the clumsy Shingami can get hold of a Huge or smaller target, it can toss the target up to 500 ft in any direction it chooses. If attacking a Medium or smaller target, it may scoop up two adjacent Medium sized enemies with a single attack roll. It really, really likes doing this.

Horrific Orgasm (SU) : As often as once every 3d6 rounds, the Shingami can ejaculate waves upon waves of acidic greenish-grey semen from every one of its dozen cocks. Bits of the corpses it has created rush out mixed with the acidic spray.

As a full round action, the Shingami unleashes a 500 ft cone of acid which inflicts 20d10 points of acid damage to everything within the blast radius. Characters caught within the spray may attempt a DC 28 REF Save for half damage.

Eventual Return (EX) : The Shingami is nearly impossible to ever truly destroy. It can only be permanently slain if a character of American nationality voluntarily chooses to sacrifice themselves to the task. The creature must first be brought to negative HP equal to its maximum positive HP total, and the American sacrifice must immolate him or herself atop the gigantic corpse. Otherwise, the slain behemoth will return to life in 4d6 months, or upon the next Akashita Wind storm.

There may be more books for this game, but I sincerely doubt there's anything that could possibly represent it more clearly or accurately than this: shamelessly derivative and unilaterally offensive while stubbornly maintaining delusions of satirical commentary. A fitting note on which to fade out at last.

Next time: alandmakersayswhat? I can't wait!