Black Tokyo: Tales of the Tatakama by Bitchtits McGee
Daughters of Kirin
Original SA post
Aw man, I was all psyched to cover Black Tokyo, but then I find out PurpleXVI already did it while I wasn't looking.
Oh, well. At least he left me the other three books.
I don't know which one actually came first, but this one is the shortest, so I'm starting with it. For the record, that does appear to be cogent Japanese on the cover, but it also looks like half of whatever it is is missing, and the rest is all blurred together so I can't be bothered to figure out what it says.
intro text go posted:
This sourcebook serves as a continuation and expansion of the Black Tokyo world, delving even deeper into this horrific imitation of real world Japan. Inside, you’ll find new monsters, new feats, new demon-tainted advanced classes and a selection of monstrous new player races. We’ll venture across the dimensional border, and cross into the Tatakama. We’ll catch a glimpse of oni at play in the fields of the Black Else. And eventually, we’ll return to Tokyo, to confront human horrors and demonic lusts.
Also, terminology explained now so I don't have to pussyfoot around it later: in the Black Tokyo setting, there's the human world, the demon world a.k.a. the Black Else, and where the two overlap is an always-changing fairyland called the Tatakama. The core book explicitly likens this setup to a Venn diagram. Planescape, eat your heart out.
The Tales come later, right now we're facing down a new PC race option: the Daughters of Kirin . The Kirin of mythology is a Chinese chimera, with the body of a tiger, tail of an ox, legs of a giraffe, and antlers of a deer; the Kirin of dumbshit weeaboo hacks clearly inspired by Monster Hunter fan-art they saw on danbooru is basically a hovering Pan-Asian unicorn who works for the gods somehow. The Kirin is always on the move, but occasionally he stops long enough to bang a lady horse, which always results in the birth of a humanoid Daughter, always "an omen of cosmic significance", we are told. Raising these little bundles from Equestria has been the secret task of Japanese horse breeders for four thousand years; luckily, the average Daughter "can run within minutes of her birth, and is as clever as a two year old by the end of her first night on Earth", and most of the actual education is done by visiting angels, so it's probably not that onerous a duty.
Daughters of Kirin are agents of Heaven, called to heroism by instinct, and consider it their duty to protect the Futakuchi... whatever they are. (Maybe I should have started with the Races book after all. Meh.) Primary physical characteristics: six feet tall, muscular, attractive, horse legs with golden hooves, a long horn growing out of their forehead, and naturally occurring ivory-and-gold armor growing right out of their skin. The text specifies it covering "a beautiful pair of taut breasts and a virginal pussy", notes that it can be relaxed to allow for consensual humping but never fully retracted, then decides to let it protect the hips, shoulders, forearms and spinal cord as well, basically making a swankier, anthro-furry Witchblade. Do I even need to point out that they rarely wear clothes over this?
this tidbit comes pretty much out of nowhere in the book, too posted:
The Kirin are an exclusively female species- they can only bear daughters with their divine father, and most of the Daughters long for a visit from the legendary unicorn, though few begrudge him his wanderlust.
What, you thought an armored snatch was as bad as this was going to get? Nope, every last one of them's drippin' for Daddy! FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!
This took longer to type out than I expected and I should have been in bed a couple of hours ago, so I'll let you off with just this for now. Tomorrow: catgirl population control, first-hand ancestral memory management, and jets on legs! I can't wait!
Talents & Classes
Original SA post
Part 2: Talents and Class
Hot on the heels (or whatever they call them) of the Armored Electra Complex Cavalry, is another one of those ideas that is - I believe, but could be wrong - original to Black Tokyo , and yet not Godawful : Starting Talents.
easier than summarizing posted:
The starting occupations found in D20 Modern work well for most modern action campaigns. The following talents ground these generic starting occupations more
fully in Black Tokyo’s pseudo-Japanese reality. During character creation, players select a single Starting Talent. Most Starting Talents are only found among members of one or two starting occupations, and some have additional prerequistes that must be met before they can be selected.
Starting Talents provide characters with a minor advantage, which is usually a bit too situational or weak for a full feat. These minor abilities are intended mostly as campaign flavor, but clever players can probably come up with more impressive uses for these talents.
Lightly supplementing a core mechanic to better fit the setting? I think I like that a lot, in fact. No doubt this sliver of good will is about to evaporate like an ice cube on an August sidewalk, but hey, it was there. Skipping over the 'boring' ones to save time:
-
Best In Show!
: You've won ribbons in catgirl fashion shows. Once per day, strike a pose and add your Reputation bonus to Defense. Additionally, "mystical confetti and celebratory music fills the air, the arcane remnants of the enchantments you received for your stunning victory on the runway". Leave out the part about enemies "standing in awe of your sensuality", and this could actually be pretty funny.
Beneficent Lover : Anyone you bang heals 1 HP because sex.
Delivery Health : An actual Japanese phenomena, which boils down to "dial-a-hooker" . +4 to FORT saves vs. STDs, and +1 vs. sex magic.
Dodge the Tentacles (female only) : "You’re an attractive young Japanese girl, so you just know there’s a lot of tentacles out there with your name on them. Try and avoid some. You receive a +2 luck bonus on grapple checks made to break a pin or escape a grapple by any kind of tentacle, prehensile penii or other weirdness." Couldn't have put it better myself.
Ecchi : Any time you bang a new race for the first time, gain a free skill point. If you manage to bang every race, you gain one of three sexy feats: Gifts of Ecstasy (+4 to fuck rolls), Tantric Wisdom (fucking for an hour clears your head and gives +2 to brain rolls), or Perverted Immortality (must be in one of those other books, but I already don't like the sound of it).
Eyrines Training : Indoctrination with the Sisterhood (feminist demon hunters) gives you +3 to attack rolls if the target has ever raped a sentient creature. I guess you're depending on the GM to let you know about this.
Gynophiliac Chef : Y'know what, I think I'm just going to let the name speak for itself, here.
Half Demon Pussy : Oni heritage gives your cunt a mind of its own, writhing around anything phallic to drive it in as far as possible. For an hour after any penetrative encounter, you have a 15% chance to ignore critical hits. Sure, that makes perfect sense.
Incestuous Teacher : Bang an immediate family member, and they get a 24-hour +2 bonus in any 4-rank or higher skill of yours. It's tantric, I don't gotta explain shit.
Gaijin : Since everyone thinks you're an uncultured thug, +2 to Intimidate and reroll a failed Diplomacy check once per day. And yeah, the alphabetization's screwed up here. Fields also misspelled "nekomusume" in the Best In Show! text. Repeatedly. Nice proofreading, jackass.
Gashapon Prize : "You were born in a magical girl vending machine and bought as a playtoy. You’ve still got your company’s logo on your butt, in fact." As
as this probably sounds, after
Akikan!
, it wouldn't surprise me if this manga had been running for twenty years. +2 to hide in urban environments, and get free vending machine swag with a DC 4 Purchase check.
Noose Dreamer : "Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve dreamed of ceremonial suicide at the end of a noose, beneath the boughs of a great tree, in the presence of your friends and family."
You can sense the location of Shinto
torii
gates, which... allow you to cross from the Earth Realm to the Tatakama, I think? The benefit to this weirdest of childhood aspirations isn't exactly clear.
Otaku : Once per day, substitute Knowledge (Pop Culture) for any other Knowledge roll by claiming you saw it in an anime once.
Panchira : Panty shots are a universal constant in Black Tokyo . Any round you move 20 feet or more while dressed in a skirt or kimono, all creatures within 30 ft. get -2 to WIS-based skill checks for one round.
Panty Shredding Trick : Up to three times a day, destroy any non-magical clothing worn by a target within 10 feet. May be resisted with a DC 11 Will save.
Sexy Beast : You were actually created by a "flesh-sculptor" as a sexual plaything. Each day when you wake up, designate another character to be your master/mistress for that day. +1 morale bonus to all rolls while within 30 feet of them.
Sexy Doctor : +1 to Treat Injury or Craft (Pharmaceutical) checks on anyone you have previously banged.
T.B.M.S. Catch-Man : Dunno what that stands for, but apparently they tool around in trucks, capturing and euthanizing stray catgirls. +2 to grapple/attack rolls vs. Nekomusume opponents.
Without Conscience (male only) : Remember that Sisterhood bonus vs. rapists? Doesn't apply to you.
For his next trick, Fields looked up the word " strike " in a thesaurus and came up with a new player class: the Assault Witch , pantsless high school girls with airplanes on their legs who shoot magic. The character art is, bizarrely, more worksafe than most images from the show he's ripping off, so here's a visual aid:
Blah blah Princess Aiko initiative something paper-thin justification: "Under the Crown Princess’ direction, neophyte Assault Witches are to get as much battle experience as possible, hopefully becoming a centerpiece of a new generation Japanese military, one that publicly embraces magic, and elevates women to positions of power." Yeah, this is definitely a good place to start on that . Apparently, there are American counterparts using cyber-tech, but it's all magic all the time in Nipponland. Plus they make good JSDF recruiting mascots, because what military couldn't use a few good mouth-breathing ephebophilic neckbeards.
The skills and class features are remarkably creep-free, probably because they dumped it all into this one:
I don't think this actually happens in the show posted:
Mach One Climax (SU) : Like the witches of old performed sex magic with their besoms, the Assault Witch can use the pure energy of her orgasm to unlock her body’s full potential. Starting at 3rd level, if she masturbates to orgasm immediately before take off, the Assault Witch gains the ability to travel at supersonic speeds outside of combat and gains the stamina to take advantage of her range.
FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!
Next time: we get to the actual tales! I can't wait!
The World of Black Tokyo
Original SA post
Part 3: The World of Black Tokyo
Yaaaay, game lore! I love this stuff!
The Amakaze
Your basic Illuminati stand-in: the immortal founders of Japan's zaibatsu , controlling everything from the unearthly pleasures of their vast palatial estates in the Tatakama, only ever setting foot back in the mortal world anymore for the odd board meeting or G8 Summit. Except, of course, immortality has a price, and that price gets steeper every year, so by this point they're really just another layer of stooges between Earth and the Black Else, directing mortal affairs to further the ends of their demonic paymasters. Then it goes on for half-a-dozen paragraphs about how the PCs could find out they've been unwittingly working for the Amakaze all along. You could probably write the whole entry yourself. Pretty standard stuff.
The Ubume Empress
According to a sidebar, the so-called Ubume Empress works for the Amakaze, somehow manipulating the other Ubume into servitude so that they can "spread delicious misery across the human realm"... again, somehow. While her actual purpose and motivation is vague to the point of vapor, the rest of her entry is bizarrely detailed. She answers to the name "Ellen", and her accent seems to be American, but she isn't native to the world of Black Tokyo, having somehow crossed through the Black Else and the Tatakama after her death. She wears tailored business attire, to which the ghosts of hundreds of fetuses cling invisibly, and enchanted veils cover up the fact that she's missing the top of her skull. Why go to the trouble of including all this? Is it based on someone he knows? A friend's self-insert? Petty revenge against an ex-girlfriend who slept around on him?
oh, and then there's this thing posted:
The Ubume Empress is also adept at manipulating Japan’s minority Christian population to commit horrid atrocities in the name of faith, only realizing too late their actions serve the Black Else.
Fields.
Amusement Store Tulip - Sapporo, Japan
Nominally, an adult novelty shop. But in the back room, owner Noriko Tennin, self-emancipated Living Toy (new to me, too, but the name seems fairly self-evident) and Innocent (D7ACU: The Innocent, Skortched Urf Studios, 2007, but I ain't buyin' that one), crafts magical artifacts to order. Reasonable prices and good quality, but accordingly, a months-long backlog on orders. She'll even custom-build you a Living Toy bedmate, but only after she's "encountered" you herself and is sure you won't mistreat them.
www.anon-chan.net
yyyyyyyyyyyyyep posted:
A rude and impudent website, a place where calling another anonymous poster a nigger-fag is the height of comedy, and the one place on the Net where it’s totally possible to innocently stumble across home-made kiddy porn while browsing for anime wallpapers or song torrents.
Right down to a recent spate of 'hacktivism' against the corporations of the Amakaze. Anonymity keeps the fight alive for the most part, but twin webmasters Ryu and Haneda Shirow have their own list of supernatural contacts to call on if the forces of evil get too close for comfort, cough cough plot hook.
Aokigahara Forest
If you're gonna make a game about Japanese ghosts, you've gotta set a space aside for the Sea of Trees. An old growth forest around the base of Mount Fuji, Aokigahara is purportedly the most haunted place in Japan, a reputation due entirely to the indisputably documented fact that it's also the most popular spot in Japan for committing suicide, seeing upwards of 100 every year. Popular opinion puts the root of this in Seichou Matsumoto's 1960 novel Kuroi Jakai , about a young lover who hangs himself from a tree in the forest, but as is the way of these things, stranger theories abound.
In Black Tokyo , the roots of the Universal Tree cross under the soil, making the entire forest a weak spot in the barrier between the True Earth Realm and the Tatakama. Portals constantly open and close at random, Kasha guide the souls of the dead so they cannot return as undead, Futakuchi descend upon sacred groves. And just in case you thought he'd get too solemn or respectful of the site to include some creepy detail, a cave in the heart of the forest contains a sacred steel dildo which Kijimunna use to masturbate themselves to death.
Clovers Academy - Outside Tokyo
An exclusive private school owned and operated by Heaven itself, training the next generation of demon slayers from Grades 7-12. The students are mentioned to be pen pals with the seemingly all-girl Hanging Academy, whatever that is.
Club Ameonna - Tokyo Harbor
A
nyotaimori
club "popular with younger Yakuza and wealthy idiots who get their thrills being seen with Yakuza". Also the location of a permanent portal directly to the Black Else, so make sure you
really
understand the directions to the restroom when you ask.
Fairy Tale Student's Club - Rappongi, Tokyo
Again, not my typo. A two-bedroom apartment turned party club and crash-pad for young shapeshifters and magic-users, with a loose-knit but internally-loyal membership.
Monsters University - Okinawa
The "run-down inner city" equivalent to the Clovers Academy, MU is a sort of magically-aware juvie hall, where optimistic exorcists send young abominations to learn how to rise above their baser instincts or die trying.
posted:
Since most of Monster’s University students enjoy watching women die, students of both genders often begin strange, melancholy romances with the girls of the Hanging Academy.
This seems like it might be a good place for Doom, but since I still don't know what the deal is with this Hanging Academy, all that really frustrates me is that these things don't have numbers on the front or something.
www.omorashi-chase.jp
A popular watersports webcam site, with a magically encrypted Member's Only section selling the stained panties of down-on-their-luck goddesses, as well as an always-busy chat room for Flow Witches and waste-mages.
Sagari Downs - Nagasaki
Lavish and apparently fictional 1/4-mile horse racing track, where many of the jockeys are actually Koropokkuru, which makes a sort of carrot-over-stick sense. Open to the public during the regular racing season, closed off and glamoured during the winter months for "high-stakes and eroticized races" between "Japan’s mystic pony-players, animalistic cosplay-mages and the virginal, powerfully built Daughters of Kirin" for the exclusive amusement of richer clientele.
Seamless Sleep Club - Rappongi, Tokyo
Still not my typo. Run by three of the Tannin sisters ('related' to the owner of Amusement Store Tulip and likewise self-emancipated Living Toys), the SSC is a popular maid cafe and "cuddle club", where lonely otaku and salarymen can pay extra to sleep with the staff in the literal sense of just sharing a bed - no intimate contact, both parties' pajamas stay on at all times. Recently gained national notoriety when the Imperial Princess hosted a party there, but not mentioned in the tabloids were the personal bodyguards the owners built for her as a gift.
The Shikome
The extremist side of the Eyrines Sisterhood, the Shikome not only hunt down and kill sexual predators, but go the extra mile to euthanize their victims as well , with the reasoning that while being raped itself is no sin, the lifetime of pain and guilt that often follows only serves to stain their karma, so they're better off re-entering the cycle of rebirth as soon as possible. Yeesh. Not very many of them around, what with both the aforementioned predators and the Eyrines both actively hunting them down.
Vending Machine Girls
Mage-bred sex slaves sold in mystical gashapon machines, "transitory playthings [which] are almost as disposable as a can of soda". FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!
Next time: zombie hobo hordes, auto-groping kimonos, and literal crotch rockets! I can't wait!
Monsters and Other Fieldsish Things
Original SA post
Part 4: Monsters and Other Fieldsish Things
New Monsters!
Aswang (CR 6)
Descriptions vary widely , but none of them seem to resemble this picture at all.
-
Vampiric bird-dog-demon-things from Filipino folklore who suck unborn fetuses out of pregnant women with their long, mosquito-like proboscises. The
Black Tokyo
version just has them migrating to Japan to take jobs in disreputable hospitals and nails their natural appearance down to enormous bird-things, "all lice-flecked ebon wings and hollow fangs", although they can disguise themselves as Filipino women. They think Ubume are super-delicious.
Masque : The disguise ability.
Proboscis : Long, whip-like tongue that grapples. Pregnant mortal women who are grappled must make a FORT check each round or "undergo an especially tramautic abortion". An Aswang who successfully induces an abortion is instantly healed to full HP, cleared of all status conditions, and becomes immune to turning for 24 hours.
Seeking the Dark Delicacy : Instead of the abortion thing, a grappled Ubume loses 1D3 WIS points per round, no save, with perma-death at 0 WIS. As if that weren't enough, Aswang are immune to unarmed or melee attacks from Ubume. Better hope you brought backup.
Amakaze (CR 10)
-
Yep, these guys. They look all wrinkled and old, but are "stronger than they were in their 20s", sprouting talons of gold and a sharklike mouth full of fangs when they fight.
Bribe Hell : Can sacrifice an item of Purchase DC 20 or higher to summon a CR 8 demonic bodyguard. This is actually why they're always decked out in designer watches, designer ties and the like, so they can be discarded in an emergency. Actually a pretty cool idea.
Black Coins : Throw a handful of bloody yen at a target as a free action. If it hits, the target is cursed with a spiritual bounty, giving any Outsiders allied with that particular Amakaze a bonus to attack them.
Economic Sadism : "The dark, materialist magic that sustains the immortal Amakaze loathes the working poor even as it depends upon them for sustenance." Bonus on all attack/damage rolls and Bluff/Diplomacy/Intimidate checks against targets with a Wealth Bonus of less than +8, and automatically confirm critical hits against targets with 0 Wealth Bonus. Top-notch social commentary right here.
Murderous Fraud : "The Amakaze’s cold bone talons unravel a victim’s wealth and credit history even as they slice through his guts." Melee attacks deal additional damage to the target's Wealth Bonus. Sure why not.
Binbogami (CR 2)
-
It is (or was) a fairly common practice in Japan for moneylenders to take out life insurance policies on borrowers, so that just in case they tried to commit suicide rather than default, the company'd still profit. The Amakaze, beacons of capitalism that they are, take this a step further and turn loan-suicide cases into hordes of disposable zombie drones.
Unbreakable Contract : Destroy the body, they'll just regenerate and get right back to whatever mission their Amakaze had them on before. The only way to exorcise them permanently is to pay off their debt, permanently reducing your Wealth Bonus by 1 per hobozombie.
Daruma (CR 5)
-
Japanese daruma dolls are based on the legend of Bodhidharma, the founder of Zen Buddhism, who legend says meditated for so long that his entire body wasted away beneath him, leaving a serenely enlightened head. In Fields' world, the "real" Daruma are fallen monks and priests turned into giant shrimp demons who seek out happy lovers and chew off their genitals in "some kind of bizarre attempt to control ‘human lust’." Riiiiiiiiiight.
Pounce : Meh.
Nibble : Two bites in one attack.
Mutilating Bite : Instead of Nibble, go straight for the babymakin' parts for extra damage.
Sexual Inversion Curse : Whatever character makes the deathblow on a Daruma must make a FORT save or have their gender permanently swapped.
Kanedama (CR 5)
-
The Amakaze's MIB force of demonic errand boys. They appear as plain, forgettable salarymen, complain about their job constantly, wear dark sunglasses to hide their total lack of eyes, and cheap rumpled suits to hide the fact that they have dog mouths instead of penises.
Blindsense : No eyes means no visual attacks. And they track by scent.
Cowards Prosper : Anyone hit by a Kanedama takes extra damage from its allies, as well as any further attacks from the same Kanedama. It doesn't say otherwise, so I guess this effect can stack from multiple Kanedama, making them a real threat in numbers.
Kijohime (CR 7)
-
Demons of lust and jealousy, "given form when a young woman masturbates to a bitter, hurtful orgasm to thoughts of a lover she can never possess." Single-minded and not very bright, they come to Earth to seek out the target of the fantasy that spawned them so they can challenge them to a friendly game of tiddlywinks (no, not really). Armless but beautiful Japanese women from head to waist, red-and-gold snake's tail below. Vagina's lined with venomous serpents, and their breast milk is a neurotoxin. Sheesh.
Climb : Kijohime aren't actually bound by gravity, so they can slither across walls and ceilings with impunity.
Constrict : Well, they are half snake, y'know.
Shiofuki : Thinking of their intended lover-victim brings the Kijohime to a messy orgasm, spraying venomous ejaculate in a cone in front of them. Anyone hit must make a FORT save or be blinded for an hour; anyone who fails that save must make a second FORT save or take temporary DEX damage as well.
Solitary Lust : The opponent with the highest CHA has a penalty to the above saves, because the Kijohime likes them best.
Koma-Inu (CR 8)
-
Lion statues that traditionally guarded the entrance to Buddhist temples, now come to life and full of neon or something. How conventional.
Kosode-No-Te (CR 1/2)
-
Resembles an ordinary woman's kimono, until it's worn, when it suddenly starts groping them with invisible hands. And that's it.
Okiku (CR 3)
-
"The Okiku are the restless spirits who heard the call of the Hanging Academy, but could not answer it." But what does that meeeeeeeaan??
Anyway, I guess they must be undead teenage suicides or something, since they "resemble the girls they once were" except for being filled with insects and black smoke to replace the viscera removed during autopsy, and try to drive living girls to despair and death.
Cloud of Doubt : That smoke I mentioned leaks out to form a permanent miasma which surrounds them, removing any fear immunities and penalizing WILL saves.
Deathsmoke Kiss : An Okiku can make a grapple check to kiss an opponent, forcing acidic smoke into their lungs. Male victims only take half damage, but females not only take full damage from the attack, but must make a WILL save or become listless and suicidal, suffering a penalty to all rolls until she's either hit with a Remove Curse spell or offs herself. If the latter, they rise as a new Okiku in 48 hours.
Suicide Pact : Okiku work online, too. Killing one sets off an optional side-quest to save one of its online friends from killing herself because of the sudden abandonment.
There's one more, but... not yet. Best for last, don'tchaknow.
New Spells!
-
Armored by Failure
: A favorite of Amakaze, each allied creature slain within the spell's area of effect increases the caster's Damage Reduction by 1/-. The components even include "idiot henchmen".
Cock Like A Piston : A favorite of bousouzoku street-mages, the caster's cock turns into a piston with which they fuck their motorcycle's engine for better speed and handling.
Deadening Defense : Completely cuts the caster off from the Earth Realm's ley lines, rendering them all but invulnerable to all magical effects, good or ill.
Evil's Tools : Switch any morally-aligned Damage Resistance possessed by the caster. Used by elder oni against demon hunters.
Fertility Control : Exactly what it sounds like.
Intimate Shards : A self-damaging area attack, needlessly focused on the breasts and genitals.
Piss Like A Dragon : Charge your bladder with mystical energy. Hold it in for up to 12 hours, then blast out a firehose stream of burning urine, range and damage dependent on how long it's been held back.
Slut Training : The target takes 100 points of damage in 24 hours time, minus one point for each person they bring to orgasm within that time. FIIIIIIIEEEEEEEELLLLDS!!
Sudden Flowering : Take the berry from a Kijimunna, throw it like a grenade, and turn any non-magical items splashed with its juice into wood, flower and fruits.
Well-Educated Slut : So long as the spell lasts, get XP for banging a creature as if you'd defeated them in combat.
That's the end of Tales , for now. Next time: the last book, Chastity & Depravity ! I can't wait!
Long Way Down (One Last Thing)
Original SA post
Part 5: Long Way Down (One Last Thing)
For all the awfulness in this write-up, there have been some things I've had to filter out. Little details, mostly, easily spotted errors in both grammar and continuity, or the use of certain pronouns on certain feats and abilities that suggest they were written with one hand. This one time, though, I feel it's important to present things exactly as they appear. Gentle readers, behold: the final boss of Black Tokyo .
Chris A. Fields posted:
Shingami (CR 25)
Beyond Colossal Giant
Init -4; Senses Darkvision 60 ft
Aura Radioactive Hell (heavily irritated area 150 ft)
Languages Mindlessly repeats circa WWII anti-Japanese catch phrases
Defense 27, touch 2, flat-footed 27(-8 size, +25 natural)
hp 30d8+300 (435 hp); DR Damage Resistance 10/good
Fast Healing 3 Spell Resistance 22
Immune Acid, Fire, Radiation, Suffocation, Drowning, Vacuum, Massive Damage, Ability Score damage/drain, Energy Drain, Negative Levels
Resist Electricity 20,
Speed 100 ft (cannot run or shift)
Melee +49 melee slam (4d6+26 bludgeoning plus 4d6 fire, 18-20/x2)
Melee Space 500 ft x 500 ft.; Reach 150 ft
Base Atk +23; Grapple +65
Atk Options Squirming Cock Rush +49 melee (hits up to 3 enemies within 30 ft of each other), (4d6+26 bludgeoning and 1d6 fire) or
Slam +49 melee (4d6+26 bludgeoning plus 4d6 fire, 18-20/x2) or
Fling +23 melee (thrown 500 ft straight up or any direction, falling damage 20d6 REF DC 60 halves)
Horrific Orgasm (20d10 acid, 500 ft cone, REF DC 28 half, once every 3d6 rounds)
Abilities STR 52 DEX 3 CON 31 INT 3 WIS 15 CHA 9
+26 -4 +10 -4 +2 -1
SQ Eventual Return
Feats Power Attack, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Sunder
The Shingami is the ‘western god of death’, a colossal psychic monster created from the hate and bigotry of an entire nation. Born during World War II, the Shingami is the living embodiment of American sin- the loathsome spirit that put Japanese-Americans into camps, and the same rage that burnt the world at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Like the Genbu, the colossal Shingami has slept through the decades, somewhere deep beneath the Sea of Othosk. Coral has grown over the monster’s resting place, and every day cargo ships drift lazily by above. For most, the Shingami is long forgotten. Only a handful of Japanese arcanists serving with Police Section Seven believe the monster still lives and even fewer have a plan to destroy the great beast if it should ever reawaken.
The Shingami stands taller than most of Tokyo’s sky scrapers, and it’s sheer mass shakes the ground with every step it takes. The monster resembles a gigantic ebony ape with dozens of jagged horns nearly half a kilometer long protruding from its spine and the crown of its head. The Shingami’s sickly yellow and black face is like something out of a WWII propaganda poster- a slant eyed, bucktoothed, leering parody of a Japanese man’s. Dozens of penis tendrils, each the size of subway trains whip, from beneath the creature’s bulging gut. The Shingami’s eyes glow a bloody crimson, and its light is strong enough to blot out the sun. From head to hooves, the monster is wreathed in atomic flames.
Radioactive Hell (SU) : The Shingami laughed at the atomic end of World War II, relishing the destruction. It is a creature of elemental atomic fire. A 150 ft radius around the behemoth is considered heavily irradiated and remains so for 1d6 minutes after the Shingami passes.
Squirming Cock Rush (EX) : The Shingami’s enormous prehensile cocks strike up to three enemies which must be within 30 ft of one another with every attack. Make one attack roll for all adversaries, and this is considered a single attack. All enemies struck by the behemoth’s cock suffer the same amount of damage.
Fling (EX) : If the clumsy Shingami can get hold of a Huge or smaller target, it can toss the target up to 500 ft in any direction it chooses. If attacking a Medium or smaller target, it may scoop up two adjacent Medium sized enemies with a single attack roll. It really, really likes doing this.
Horrific Orgasm (SU) : As often as once every 3d6 rounds, the Shingami can ejaculate waves upon waves of acidic greenish-grey semen from every one of its dozen cocks. Bits of the corpses it has created rush out mixed with the acidic spray.
As a full round action, the Shingami unleashes a 500 ft cone of acid which inflicts 20d10 points of acid damage to everything within the blast radius. Characters caught within the spray may attempt a DC 28 REF Save for half damage.
Eventual Return (EX) : The Shingami is nearly impossible to ever truly destroy. It can only be permanently slain if a character of American nationality voluntarily chooses to sacrifice themselves to the task. The creature must first be brought to negative HP equal to its maximum positive HP total, and the American sacrifice must immolate him or herself atop the gigantic corpse. Otherwise, the slain behemoth will return to life in 4d6 months, or upon the next Akashita Wind storm.
There may be more books for this game, but I sincerely doubt there's anything that could possibly represent it more clearly or accurately than this: shamelessly derivative and unilaterally offensive while stubbornly maintaining delusions of satirical commentary. A fitting note on which to fade out at last.
Next time: alandmakersayswhat? I can't wait!